The Envelope
by Darke-Faerie
Summary: On your 21st birthday you receive an envelope with a name of someone you need to find, they could be a potential friend, lover or enemy. Clarke opens her envelope to the one name she never wanted to see. (This is set around s2-3)


Hello! This takes place around s2/3, I've made Clarke/Lexa the same age for ease - after the events at Mount Weather, before they had sex, anything that has happened in the series since has been disregarded (so no ALIE, Crazy prisoners or whatever's happening in s6) I've worked from a prompt from one of the San Francisco Writers Grotto prompt books - on your X birthday you get an envelope with a name of someone you need to find

I hope the trigdasleng is understandable from the context, I would link to a translator but I wrote this a while back the site is a bit virus-y now.

Note on the rating - yes it is in M, no it doesn't actually have a proper sex scene, I can't write them very well and as a reader I find nothing worse than a badly written sex scene so sorry.

Please review, hope you enjoy :)

Twenty one candles flickered in a circle around her, usually only close family and friends attended the ceremony but every member of her clan were there watching. Her twenty first birthday marked one year since they had started the grounders tradition. Every citizen was given an envelope on their twenty first birthday with a name of the one person they had to find. The 100 who had originally fallen from the sky were the first to take part in this tradition. Skaikru did not know what the process of assigning names was, even after the peace treaty had been signed two years prior the grounders still did not completely trust them. Usually the person they had to find had knowledge to share with them or forgiveness to give, it was also a way of uniting the clans, as when they had found there person, they would stay a while learning the ways of their culture. Although it was rare for two people to be searching for each other, as one tended to be older or younger, having already found there person or awaiting the day to be presented with their envelope.

Clarke focused on the candle in front of her, watching two wax droplets race each other to the base of the candle. Hoping the ceremony would be finished soon as her legs were going dead from kneeling for so long.

"Clarke kom Skaikru" Her step-father Marcus addressed her in Trigedasleng, "Ai present yu kom disha envelope"

Clarke took the envelope from Marcus "Mochof, nontu" and had to supress as gasp as the candles lit up trees embossed on the envelope – it signified the person whose name was contained within belonged to Trikru. No one in Skaikru had been given a name from Trikru, only the other 11 clans. They had assumed this was due to the events that happened after their arrival on Earth, the events that had earned Clarke the title of Wanheda and had haunted her for the last two years. The envelope was always opened in private, so Clarke stood, massaging the pins and needles out of her legs, bowed to Marcus and left for her room. She would join them after she had opened the envelope for her leaving feast, as was tradition she would leave the following morning to search for her person.

The door slid shut behind her, whilst they still lived on the Ark she was grateful that being the chancellors step-daughter had earned her own room, even if it was slightly cramped. Her heart raced as she sat on the bed, part of her hoped the named contained within was _hers_, but then she'd have to see her again and she didn't know if she could survive that. She slid her finger under the envelope flap, pulling out the piece of paper inside, written in elegant calligraphy was the name: _Lexa__. _

"No, no, no!" she whispered at the room. Her feelings for Lexa were… complicated. As Lexa kom Trikru, Clarke hated her for leaving her at Mount Weather to save her people, what she had done had earned her the title Wanheda but she hated how soaked in blood the title was. As Heda of the 12, well now 13 clans, she had helped Clarke and the rest of Skaikru become accepted by the Grounders and had sent people to Arkadia to advise them and teach them about the customs of the different clans. But then as _Lexa_ Clarke didn't know what to think, it was the only time she had seen the Commander show any vulnerability, was when she had pushed Clarke onto the furs in her tent, kissing her and Clarke had rejected her, afraid of her own feelings. They had never gone further than that, but Clarke had thought about it every day for two very long years, rejecting anyone who had tried to get close to her, refusing to become the ambassador for Arkadia, sending Octavia in her place instead. She wondered if Lexa had done this on purpose, given Clarke her name so she would be forced to see her again, unable to hide behind excuses for fear of offending the Grounders and the customs they had generously allowed Skaikru to be a part of.

Lexa kneeled on the floor of her throne room; twenty-one candles flickered in a circle around her. As commander she did not have to take part in this tradition, but she had insisted, it was almost of rite of passage amongst her people and who would follow a commander who did not take part in a tradition created by Becca Pramheda herself? Lexa shook her head to clear her thoughts and turned her attention to Titus, who was leading her ceremony in place of her father or mother.

"Leksa kom Trikru, Heda, " Her flamekeeper addressed her, "Ai present yu kom disha envelope"

Lexa took the envelope from Titus, "Mochof" with a nod of her head, she stood and left the circle of candles and retired to her bed chambers. The envelope was unusual, of all the ceremonies she had presided over in Polis she had yet to see this Clan symbol embossed on an envelope – the nine planets of the solar system, with the hula hoop of the Ark hovering above the third planet. The name inside belonged to one of Skaikru. She hoped it was not _her_ name, when she had snubbed her invitation to become ambassador and instead had sent that grounder wannabe in her place, she had vowed to never allow anyone as close as she had allowed her, even with Costia she had been mindful of her emotions. But with _her… _ she shook her head. She had to get on with opening the envelope before Titus came to fetch her for the traditional feast. She took a thin dagger from her desk and slid it under the flap. The name read: _Clarke Griffin_. She snorted, three years on the ground and Skaikru still hadn't abandoned the silly tradition of using their family name, although she guessed it was better than it reading Wanheda, she didn't need to be reminded of the choices she had made that night.

Titus knocked on the door

"Come in"

"Commander," he started

"Close the door, please" she instructed. Standing to face Titus in the middle of the room, waving the envelope and piece of paper bearing Clarke's name, "What is the meaning of this!"

"I don't see what the problem is, Heda"

"The problem is that, when I agreed to take part in this tradition, you reassured me that the name wouldn't belong to someone from Skaikru! And her no less" she moved the envelope so Titus could see the name.

"I see no wrong with the name they have chosen Heda. You have not been the same since you returned from Mount Weather two years ago, maybe a meeting with Wanheda will clear your head and allow you to rule as a true commander should" Titus suggested.

"But I do not want to see her!"

"Heda, listen to yourself you sound like a teenager throwing a tantrum, not the Commander of 13 clans! You are doing yourself and those who came before you a disservice with this juvenile behaviour."

Lexa stared at Titus, it was odd for her flamekeeper to raise his voice to her.

"Forgive me Titus, I just"

"I know Clarke meant something to you Lexa, I can't pinpoint what, but Costia never had such an effect on you," he paused "I see you pouting every time Octavia arrives to represent Skaikru, I know you hope one day for Clarke to walk through those doors, but as you can see" he gestured to the envelope still in her hand "fate has chosen for you to find her."

"Octavia tells me it is Clarkes birthday today too, what if she does not have my name and has to go to the far reaches of Azgeda to find her person, how will I ever find her?" Lexa asked her mentor.

"Simple Lexa, you stay in Polis for the next fortnight, there is a summit you cannot miss, Octavia will be in attendance and I have asked her to find out the clan Clarke will be searching for her person in. Then you will search for her from there"

"Mochof, Titus" said Lexa, she took back the name and placed it back in the envelope on her desk.

"Now Heda, there is a feast to attend to."

Clarke was sat in the cafeteria trying to force her breakfast down, as she knew she could not make the journey to Polis on an empty stomach. Octavia sat down opposite her.

"Nervous huh?" she asked. Clarke nodded. "What clan do you have to find?"

"Trikru" Clarke thought a moment, "I remember my mother mentioning a summit in Polis this week, when do you leave?"

"This afternoon, why?"

"Do you mind if I ride with you? Trikru is so spread about I thought I'd start my search from there."

"Yeah, no problem" Octavia smiled, she left before she broke tradition and asked Clarke if the name contained was Lexa. She kinda hoped it was, as the Commander spent every meeting looking like she wanted to kill her for taking the position instead of Clarke.

Clarke returned to her room to gather her things for her trip, she had informed her mother she was going to leave with Octavia and the party travelling to Polis and they would do their goodbyes then. On her bed was a deep amethyst hooded cloak, it was the sign of someone on the search for their Name, they were to pass through each village unharmed. Her cloak had the nine planets embroidered near the hem, each Clan had their own version, Clarke ran her fingers over the stitching of the Ark floating above the third planet. She was nervous about the reception she was going to receive from Lexa, she remembered staring in awe when she had first seen her, plaited hair streaming out from behind her as she slashed two mountain men with her swords. Clarke had thought she was next, instead Lexa had just stopped. She still didn't know why Lexa had stopped, Clarke had killed 300 of her people. A knock on her door snapped her out of her memoires.

"Time to go Clarke" it was Octavia

"Be there now," she put the cloak on, fastening it with a bow at her neck, before checking her bag one last time. She joined Octavia at the gates of Arkadia, Raven was behind the wheel of the rover waiting for Clarke to finish her goodbyes. She hugged her mother one last time, before climbing in. She stared out of the windscreen, not wanting to look back for fear she see her mother shooting at her, like the last time she had left Arkadia.

The trip to the boundary of Polis passed quickly, Clarke was pleased that Lexa had allowed them to keep the rover, on the condition they would use it to help a clan if and when they needed it. Raven stopped in front of the 'no weapons beyond this point' sign.

"Well, here we are, Octavia, I'll be back in three days for you?" Raven asked, as the three women got out of the rover,

"No, I'll return on horse, I'm going to stay in Polis a while – Indra promised me she'd show me some new fighting techniques and I haven't seen Lincoln for a while." Octavia explained

"Okay, well, have fun" Raven turned to Clarke, hugging her briefly "may we met again"

Clarke smiled, "May we meet again"

Her and Octavia walked past the boundary sign as Raven started the rover and backed away, waving one last time before she disappeared. They stopped in a fork in the road, Octavia pointed to the right branch

"This is the main route into Polis, if you want Lexa to not know you're here, I'd recommend taking the left branch, it's a quieter route into the main town. It would look odd for Skaikru's ambassador to walk in with a blonde who looks suspiciously like Wanheda,"

"Thanks, Octavia I've never had a chance to explore Polis, I want to before starting my search. May we meet again" Clarke extended her hand and the shook in the customary grounder way.

"May we meet again"

Lexa fiddled with her dinner knife, wishing it was sharper and lighter, and in the head of Trishnakru's ambassador who had droned on for twenty whole minutes about the decline of the glowing butterflies in their forests. Titus's glare reminded her how easily her emotions showed on her face and she plastered a smile on before someone noticed. The ambassador's story had finally finished and everyone looked to Lexa, expecting wise words from their Heda,

"I am truly sorry that the glowing butterflies are in decline, Illian, I remember visiting your magnificent forests as a young girl. I will ask Titus to send who he sees fit to help with your problem." She smiled, hoping that was enough to shut him up, it had been two long days, one on one meetings with each of the 13 ambassadors yesterday. A group meeting where she addressed the concerns of each clan and any new ones, then a feast which was now in its fourth hour. Although she told herself she should be grateful it was only once a year and as the coalition was her idea she should be less grumpy. Titus still hadn't told her if Octavia knew the clan Clarke was searching for, although the grin he tried to supress when Octavia entered her throne room the previous afternoon told her he knew and wasn't going to share until the summit was over. Titus, seeing how tired his commander was becoming and knowing how her façade of perfection was slipping, cleared his throat, his sign to Lexa to finish the feast

"Thank you all for your attendance, I hope I have adequately addressed your concerns. I know several of you have long distances to travel back to your clans and want to get an early start," she paused, raising her glass "mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim"

"Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim!" the ambassadors answered. Before standing bowing to Lexa and leaving the room. As the final ambassador left the room, Lexa turned to Titus, "No one is to follow me into my room, tell the guards they are dismissed for the night."

"Yes Heda." Titus followed her to the door of the feast room, "You did well tonight, you're ancestors are proud of you Lexa."

"Thank you, Titus"

Clarke paced back and for, she had never expected to get in. It had been a crazy plan, and one that could very easily end in her death. She heard a noise in the corridor, she could just see _her _striding down, long black coat billowing out behind her. She would dismiss the guards and push open the double doors to her bedroom. See Clarke and push her on to the pile of furs behind her, then –

Clarkes daydreaming was shattered when the real Lexa pushed open the doors to her bedroom.

Upon seeing a blonde intruder in her bedroom, she reached for the knife strapped to her leg, and bringing her arm back threw it in a perfect arc, where it should have landed in the intruders heart, killing her, had the intruder not ducked at the last minute, the knife landed with a thud in the middle of the headboard.

"Jesus Lexa, was trying to kill me necessary?" Clarke asked, conveniently forgetting she had snuck into a trained warrior's bedroom.

"You! You have no right question who I try to kill and why, Wanheda" she spat the last word. Not daring to move closer to Clarke until she had her emotions under control. She didn't care what Titus said, she was not, discussing anything with her.

"Lexa, please. This was the only way I thought you'd see me."

"Who of my guards did you kill to get in here? You may have avoided Jus drein jus daun for your crimes at the Drop ship and Mount Weather, but I am not in a forgiving mood tonight."

"None, I swear, I just walked in here,"

"Lies!"

"Lexa, you are a greater warrior than I am, and I know you have plenty of reasons to kill me, but I killed no one to get here. I just want to talk." Clarke tried to reason, as Lexa walked over to the bed and pulled the knife from her now cracked headboard. She walked over to Clarke until there was a blades length between them.

"Then talk. If I don't like what you say it is bye-bye to Wanheda"

"Ai hod yu in"

"Hodnes ste a lie. Not good enough" She moved the blade closer so the tip now rested on Clarkes rib cage at the right angle to pierce her heart. Clarke squirmed, she had thought about ending her life several times since landing on earth, but she didn't want to die, not like this.

"It is true, I do love you Lexa. I have thought about you every day for the past two years. I have rejected any who have tried to get close, but I am a coward. I should not have sent Octavia in my place, but I couldn't face seeing you so often knowing how I had hurt you." She paused, wanting to wipe away the tear's but afraid any sudden movement would cause Lexa to push the blade in. "I saw the envelope on your desk, I know They decided that you should find me, but why Lexa? You made it pretty clear you hated me when I rejected you." She stopped, hoping Lexa would answer her before killing her.

"I do not hate you Clarke kom Skaikru. Ai hod yu in. But it would have made me vulnerable, which as a commander I cannot afford, I loved Costia and the Queen of Azgeda delivered me her head. When you rejected me I had to make myself hate you or I would spend the rest of my life pining for you. How do I know you will not just leave me again, now you have got your answers? You sky people are unpredictable."

"May I move my arms?"

"You may, but remember I can kill you before you get close enough to touch me." Lexa threatened but her voice wavered, her anger towards Clarke was fading, being replaced by something she did not want to acknowledge.

Clarke reached behind her neck and unclasped her necklace.

"Hold out your hand"

Lexa complied, holding out her left hand, the right still holding the knife to Clarke's ribcage.

Clarke placed the necklace into Lexa's outstretched hand – and single golden ring attached to a simple metal necklace.

"What is this?"

"My father's wedding ring, he was floated when I was younger. When my mother married Marcus she gave it to me, she knew how much I loved him and told me how it made her feel like he was still beside her, guiding her all these years."

Tears started falling down Lexa's face streaking her already streaked black eye make-up. She dropped the knife to the floor and kissed Clarke.

"Doshku, Clarke, can you put it on for me?"

Clarke nodded, too afraid to speak. Necklace on, Lexa bent down and reached for her knife and in one swift movement cut Clarke's top straight down the middle. The fabric slid aside,

"What the hell Lexa? I liked that top!" Clarke yelled at her, but getting the idea started to take off the rest of her clothes before Lexa turned them into rags.

Lexa tried to supress a giggle as she worked on the buttons of her coat. Letting it fall to the ground, revealing she wore nothing under it. She pushed Clarke over to her fur covered bed. The tiredness of earlier forgotten as she kissed the blonde.

**Insert sex scene of your own imagining here, cos I suck at writing them **

The next morning, they were awoken to the sound of someone knocking on Lexa's door.

"Heda, may I come in?" It was Titus.

They both groaned.

"I should leave or at least get dressed." Said Clarke, trying to untangle herself from Lexa.

"No, you aren't leaving."

"But Lexa, I'm naked, your naked. What is Titus going to think?"

"Whatever he likes, Come in" she called out.

"Heda, I heard reports of a commotion inside your room last night, but the guards did not want to intrude after your earlier command" Titus stopped, having just realised Lexa was in bed, with Clarke. "Heda, I see you have found Clarke. Do I need to remind you of our conversation?"

"No, Titus. I love Clarke and she loves me. It does not make me weak, in fact" she reached for Clarkes hand, smiling "it makes me stronger."

"I hope for your sake this does not go wrong Heda,"

"It will not Titus, now what did you interrupt us for?" she asked running her hand along Clarkes arm and under the fur.

"Nothing Heda, It was just to inform you the ambassadors have left."

"Thank you Titus, now if there is nothing for me to do today, Clarke and I would like to be left alone."

"Yes Heda, I will inform the guards that no one is to disturb you today." He bowed and left.

"Poor Titus, I think you have quite embarrassed the poor man." Clarke said.

"Got to keep on his toes." Lexa laughed before pulling the blonde on top of her, and carrying on where they had left off the night before.

**Time Jump **FIVE **years later**

Birds were singing in the Orchard, members of Skaikru and Trikru sat on the grass waiting. Titus stood at the makeshift altar, in awe that this moment was actually happening and he had been wrong.

Clarke walked through her and Lexa's people. Her white dress an antique, and the source of much confusion amongst the grounders, white being a symbol of funerals for them. Clarke remembered the first time a grounder had died outside of battle and how different the rites were. She stood on the left of Titus, staring at the ground she was not allowed to look at Lexa until she took her place opposite her. She saw Lexa's sparkling black shoes and looked up, she was wearing a black version of Clarke's dress, her tattoos complimenting the dress perfectly. Lexa held out her hands for Clarke to take, and Titus started the ceremony

"Osir laik gathered hir today, kom join leksa kom trikru, en klark kom skaikru teina gon sonraun. They have opted to exchange rings as a sign of their commitment." He produced the rings from his pockets – two delicate gold and white gold bands, each metal a swirling branch joined in the centre. He handed one ring to Clarke

"Klark kom skaikru do yu promise kom hodnes en protect leksa kom trikrue?" he asked,

"Sha." Clarke answered placing the ring on her Lexa's finger.

"Leksa kom trikru do yu promise kom hodnes en protect clakre kom skaikru?"

"Sha." Lexa placed the ring on her Clarke's finger.

"Yu may nau kiss your houmon" Titus declared.

Lexa leaned forward and kissed Clarke, before they walked hand in hand through there people, for the customary post wedding walk. Lexa had explained it was the only chance the newlyweds would get to be alone for the rest of the day. Neither could be believe that this day was happening. It was eight years since Clarke had fallen from the sky and she was thankful. If she was still on the Ark she would never have met Lexa and created this new life.

"What are you thinking about, wife?" Lexa asked a quiet Clarke.

"You, how I am lucky to have met you, Ai hod yu in, Lexa"

"Ai hod yu in, seintaim Clarke"


End file.
